


Domestic Dispute

by agrajag



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: M/M, Minor Eddie Kaspbrak/Myra Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21553216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag
Summary: "I mean, I feel like I have to give you a little bit of a kick. You know I love you, and I'm absolutely not going anywhere, but I would definitely prefer if we were doing this without all the running around.""Shut up. We're hardly running anywhere. Myra never deviates from her schedule."Of course, because Eddie didn't knock on wood, that's when they heard the front door open."What the fuck?" Richie asked in a hissed whisper as he grabbed his glasses from the bed side table. "Does anyone have a key for your place? Like a cleaner or something?""No! No one! Myra doesn't feel safe if someone does. Like, even when I explained for emergency situations.""I don't give a shit about that. What the fuck do we do?"
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 201





	Domestic Dispute

**Author's Note:**

> the best part of living in a big city is following the city scanner twitter this is based on something that actually happened in my city but i lost the dang tweet because i wrote down this idea like four months ago and forgot about it

They were laying on Eddie's bed, trying to catch their breath, because they weren't spring chickens anymore. If Richie put Eddie's legs on his shoulders, he had to be careful he didn't pull a muscle. Eddie could only ride Richie for a couple minutes before he was collapsing against his chest. You get the picture. So they were in their forties now, and there was no shame in relaxing after they had reached the finish line. Honestly, they could even hide the fact that it was because they _had_ to and say it was because they were cuddling. Not that Eddie was much of a cuddler because he always claimed that Richie was too sweaty and it was disgusting for them to be so close together afterward, but he would hold Richie's hand which was enough.  
  
Because it wasn't like Richie could hold Eddie's hand when they were out and about.  
  
You know, since he was married and everything.  
  
God, if Richie hadn't been devastated by the fact that he was in love with a married man, he would have been excited that he had become the embodiment of the 90s comedian cliche. He could just imagine getting up on the dingy stage in some night club and telling jokes about how he had become a homewrecker. Although, that would imply that his wife even had any clue what was going on, and Eddie and Myra's relationship was as good as it ever was.  
  
Not like they had a _great_ relationship to begin with. Since Eddie was, you know, gay. But Myra hadn't noticed that for the past however many years, and she wasn't noticing that now, and she wasn't noticing that Eddie was far less stressed out than he normally was because he was having mind blowing orgasms on the regular.  
  
They were working on it. Eddie had told Richie he wanted to leave Myra before they had gone back to Derry. Then, getting back with his high school boyfriend and getting all those memories back only drove home how important it was for him to do so. It was the best thing for him, and for Myra too. Because this would be so much easier if Myra was a terrible person, but she wasn't really. She may be a little controlling but, despite all of Richie's jokes, she wasn't as bad as Mrs. Kaspbrak had been. Richie tried to hate her anyway, but then he felt like Stan and Bev had both astral projected from wherever they were and slapped him. Which, he had to admit he deserved that.  
  
"So, Eds, not that I haven't been enjoying New York," Richie said, because he was so fucking whipped that, after he had righted things with his agent, he had moved to New York to be close to Eddie, "but I think we should discuss where we're going to settle down in the future."  
  
"If you think you were being subtle, bringing up the divorce that way, you're not fucking subtle at all," Eddie said. He sighed as he dropped Richie's hand, and now Richie actually wished Stan and Bev were there to slap him. Though that might have been a little weird since he and Eddie were naked. "Rich, like, I would _love_ to discuss those kind of things with you. And I see how _you_ think that'd be helpful dealing with the divorce, but it just makes me nervous instead."  
  
"I mean, I feel like I have to give you a little bit of a kick. You know I love you, and I'm absolutely not going anywhere, but I would definitely prefer if we were doing this without all the running around."  
  
"Shut up. We're hardly running anywhere. Myra never deviates from her schedule."  
  
Of course, because Eddie didn't knock on wood, that's when they heard the front door open.  
  
"What the fuck?" Richie asked in a hissed whisper as he grabbed his glasses from the bed side table. "Does anyone have a key for your place? Like a cleaner or something?"  
  
"No! No one! Myra doesn't feel safe if someone does. Like, even when I explained for emergency situations."  
  
"I don't give a shit about that. What the fuck do we do?"  
  
"What do you mean 'what do _we_ do?' You're getting the fuck out of here."  
  
Eddie jumped up and, even though this was the most terrifying thing Richie had faced since the stupid fucking space clown, Richie found himself checking out Eddie's ass. Eddie caught him at it, frowning as he threw Richie's underwear at his face and his phone at his hand.  
  
"Where are the rest of my clothes?" Richie asked as he put them on -- the underwear that is.  
  
"No time."  
  
Eddie pushed Richie to the window, and Richie thought back to the countless times he crawled in and out of Eddie's window when they were kids. It had seemed like a truly romantic gesture back then, but now Richie felt like he was a peeping Tom or something. At least he didn't have to worry about climbing a tree in the city. His bare feet hit the uncomfortable metal of the fire escape that was outside the bedroom window and he immediately started shivering. He wrapped his arms around his middle as he hoped from one foot to the next, like _that_ was going to help him get warm. He needed his shirt at least.  
  
He tried to open the window, but Eddie, the bastard, had locked it. He started knocking on the glass, hoping that Myra was taking her time in the living room or something, and Eddie could pass him his clothes. He couldn't be that lucky, however. Eddie did _not_ open the window. He didn't even come over, pull back the curtains, and flip Richie off. God, Richie honestly didn't give a shit if someone took a picture of him running around the city half naked, but he was afraid that he would freeze before he got home and was able to defend himself on Twitter.  
  
Richie tried to knock again, and this time he at least heard someone say something in response. It didn't sound like Eddie, though. _Fuck_. Myra must be there. He could just imagine Eddie telling her that it must be a dumb pigeon that kept knocking into the window or something. Well, this dumb pigeon would just go away if Eddie just threw his clothes out the window for him. How was that any more work than hiding them? Because he must have hid them so that Myra wouldn't notice. Richie hadn't technically met her, but he was pretty sure that it would have been a hell of a lot louder in there if she had seen some other man's clothes in her bedroom.  
  
The wind picked up and Richie was shivering even more, now, and he was positive he was going to freeze to death on the fire escape. And then he finally remembered that he had his phone in his hand. He typed as best as he could with his numb fingers and sent Eddie a message.  
  
**Me:** can u throw my clothes out so i dont die out here its like 0 degreez  
  
**Eddie:** I can't, dipshit. Myra is in the bedroom. She would see.  
  
**Me:** im fuckin freezin dude!!!!!!!  
  
**Eddie:** You should have thought of that before you jumped out the window.  
  
**Me:** u shoved me out the window!!!! ur the 1 who only gave me my fuckin boxers wtf eds????? just give me my clothes!!!!!  
  
**Eddie:** God, you are so annoying when you text. Listen, Myra is asking why I keep looking at my phone. I have to go.  
  
**Me:** eds no 😡 give me my clothes  
  
**Me:** eds answer me  
  
**Me:** come to the window 😡😡😡  
  
Needless to say, Eddie didn't come to the window. Richie stood there for another minute or two before he decided that, yeah, he was _that_ desperate. He dialed 911 and tried to think how he could put everything delicately.  
  
"911. What's your emergency?" the dispatcher asked.  
  
"Uh, yeah, hi. I think I'm about to die."  
  
"Are you injured sir?"  
  
"No, it's because of the cold. I'm stuck outside."  
  
"Are you able to get to a warming station, sir?"  
  
"Not exactly," Richie said, glancing around. "I have no clothes."  
  
"I'm sorry, sir?"  
  
"My boyfriend's wife came home and he kicked me out. I just want my fucking clothes, man. I text him but he says that he can't give them to me. Maybe you can send someone over to convince him to just open the window."  
  
Richie had to hand it to the dispatcher for being incredibly professional. He was sure that she _must_ have been smiling, but she didn't laugh at all, and kept talking to him as if this was the biggest emergency she had to take a call for that day.  
  
"Alright sir. I'll have someone in the area drive by. What is the address?"  
  


\----------------------------------

Well, it wasn't the way that Richie had planned to come out, but he had to admit it was fucking hilarious. Ben was actually the one who had forwarded the tweet to him, and he couldn't stop laughing. Eddie didn't think it was funny, but then again, he was still fuming over having to answer the door to find a cop standing there with Richie in his fucking skivvies. Myra, surprisingly, had handled it better than Richie would have thought, although there had been crying later. But now she was off on a vacation in the Caribbean and Richie and Eddie were in their new apartment in Chicago.

"If you retweet that, I'm going to be filing for a second divorce."

"We're not even married," Richie said as he hit the retweet button.

Then, of course, came his own tweet after that.

@RichieTozier: LRT (as the kids say) can't believe i made it onto the nyc police scanner twitter but yeah that was me! surprise! im gay! and so is my amazing boyfriend (who finally did give me my clothes back)


End file.
